Just when you thought it was over...

It's a new week and that means at least 5 new posts!

We're going to start this one off with what seems to be a recurring incidence.

The short news headline...

JOEY LAN IS MISSING... AGAIN!

Just when you thought the case was solved, he has eluded us once more. After showing up to work a little bit late on Wednesday, Joey took a “sick” day on Friday. However, we know he was not sick because we received a tip from his roommate, Kyle Lyons (Private Investigator), that Joey had been asleep until 1:34pm. At approximately 1:43pm, Joey called in to his supervisor informing that he would not be going into work that day. According to Robbie, Joey was not in the apartment again this weekend, but his car and motorcycle stayed here. This is more serious than the last time because we currently have no suspects.

If Joey had in-fact come into work that Friday, he would have been ranked 2nd in all-time co-op lateness. Our records show that the latest a co-op has ever come in to work was around 2:30pm.

More updates to follow…

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Update (10/22/08 - 8:15am)



Joey is still missing, as far as we know. He was the only co-op who didn't show up for the grill-0ut on Monday night and Philip didn't see him at his desk over in body shop yesterday morning.



We will attempt to make contact with him later today, but it is very likely that he has lost communication with the outside world and silenced by his ninja captors.

Though his Civic and motorcycle are still at the apartment, it has been theorized that he might return to retrieve the motorcycle to give to the deadly ninja clan as a bartering item in exchange for his freedom. This is only speculation though, it is not certain if we will ever see Joey again.

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Update (10/23/08 - 7:23am)

Robbie Clark, roommate of Joey Lan, informed us that Joey is no longer cmployed by BMW. at 7:39am, we were told that he did not get fired. He quit, citing personal issues with being depressed and emotionally upset, though he did not elaborate at all beyond that.

3 co-ops gone within 1 week... Thursdays are not a good day to be a co-op.

Ninjas and Samuri Swords

This is a ninja. This is only a rough sketch from a bystander who was unable to distinguish more than a shadowy shape. Ninjas kill all the time. Yet they are next to impossible to see. If you ever see a ninja's eyes, they will be the last thing you ever see.

Ninjas, we are told, carry a large assortment of weapons to aid in their slayings. They are said to carry everything from smoke pellets to shuriken stars to potato guns. A common misconception is that ninjas kill using samuri swords. This is completely untrue. While a ninja may carry one around with him, the true reason for having it is so open coconuts from Food Lion. Robbie Clark is our expert concerning samuri swords, as he used to have one and that was the only thing he could think of to use it for.

We are still unsure whether ninjas are responsible for the recent Joey Lan disappearance, but we can be certain that no harm to Joey came from a samuri sword.